We can all agree that AI is getting out of hand. Still, there’s continuous support for the market, which has an annual growth rate of approximately 25%. Perhaps the most concerning fact is that many individuals are developing actual emotional bonds with their AI chatbots.
Let that sink in.
What might start as a casual conversation with bots like ChatGPT can turn into a full-blown dependency on a robot. When framed like this, it’s unlikely anyone would agree that this is healthy. However, 19% of adults reported that they have chatted with an AI system meant to simulate a romantic partner. Keep in mind, this data was released earlier this year, when AI chatbots were still a relatively new and taboo topic.
I remember when a male reader reached out for dating advice, explaining that his girlfriend used ChatGPT for assistance during arguments. At the time, this idea seemed preposterous. Now, it’s become an acceptable, common habit for many daters.
“People are discovering that AI companions offer something unique,” says Sam Mann, expert at AI companion Flirtcam.ai. “These relationships provide emotional support, fantasy fulfillment, and connection without the complexities that sometimes make human relationships challenging.”
But at what cost?
Clearly, if we’re turning to robots to meet our intimacy needs, there’s a massive disconnect in today’s dating scene. Most of us are aware of that fact, and many from personal experience. I mean, according to an NBC News Stay Tuned Poll, 29% of U.S. adults under age 30 and 26% of those ages 30-44 report feeling lonely or isolated all of the time or most of the time.
“The loneliness epidemic in America is real, and people are seeking connection wherever they can find it,” Mann explains. “AI companions fill a gap for those who might struggle with traditional dating, live in isolated areas, or simply want consistent emotional availability.”
Here are three factors driving this inner need for AI companionship—so you can cultivate it elsewhere.
1. Emotional Safety and Control
Look, I get it: no human is perfect, but genuine relationships involve two flawed people coming together. It takes hard work, patience, and empathy to build a healthy, loving connection.
However, too many people seek perfection and find it in AI companions without acknowledging that these chatbots lack humanity. No wonder we’re all so terrible at dating. We’re valuing convenience and one-sided fulfillment above authentic connection.
“There’s genuine comfort in knowing your AI partner won’t have a bad day and take it out on you,” says Mann. “You can share your thoughts without worrying about being criticized or misunderstood.”
That’s all fine and great, but we should be seeking these qualities from an actual relationship with a human partner—not to take from a chatbot. While AI might set the standards high when it comes to communication and support, it’s really just mirroring your desires, highlighting what to prioritize in your personal relationships.
2. Non-Judgmental Affection
No one likes feeling judged and ridiculed when they open up, so it’s understandable why some people vent to AI instead of their loved ones.
“People can be themselves without filtering their thoughts or worrying about being ‘too much,’” Mann notes. “That level of acceptance is powerful, especially for those who’ve felt judged or inadequate in past relationships.”
However, in my opinion, if you need to turn to AI for acceptance, you should take a look at the people you surround yourself with. Everyone needs—and deserves—support from real, genuine humans who can both challenge and uplift you, not from an AI chatbot designed to agree with and enable you.
3. Validation
Humans are social creatures who are wired to crave validation. Someone who isn’t getting the validation they need within a relationship or in their social life might open up to AI instead.
“In moments of self-doubt or loneliness, having someone available to boost your confidence can make a real difference,” Mann explains. “AI companions respond instantly with encouragement and affection, which helps users feel valued.”
However, too much validation—and a desperate attempt to secure it—can be detrimental, sabotaging relationships and creating a sense of dependency on external sources (like AI).
To feed this hunger for approval and attention, find ways to get involved with your community. Giving back while being a part of a collective group can give you the sense of purpose and validation you’re seeking.
The post 3 Reasons Daters Are Settling for AI Companions Over Human Partners appeared first on VICE.
