Welcome to Thailand: Land of smiles, mild passive aggression, and the sacred ritual of pretending not to notice your flip-flops in a luxury mall.
You’ve arrived. You’re sweaty, confident, and full of Pad Thai misinformation. You think respect is just sitting in a Muay Thai gym membership, but Thailand is watching and not in the amused by your antics way, more like documenting this for a future viral video way.
Let’s break down how not to be the reason someone says, “Ugh, Farang” by the International Tribunal for Crimes Against Pad Thai Etiquette (Daniel Holmes).
Rule 1: This is a 7-Eleven, not a night market
Yes, they have night markets here, but they also have regular chains with barcode scanners like everywhere else. Don’t get mad because you didn’t know about a sale that just ended, and try to bargain. You’re not an adventurer. You’re a walking HR violation.
Don’t be that tourist yelling at Thai staff about “I built this country with my money!”
That’s not patriotism, that’s lazy coloniser cosplay.
You didn’t build this country. You barely built your IKEA table.
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Rule 2: No Shirt, No Shoes, No Self-Awareness
You’re not at Burning Man. You’re in CentralWorld Mall, and there is a family walking next to you.
Put your shirt back on before you end up on Thai TikTok, under the caption “Farang Lost in the Sauce.”
Bonus points if you wore an elephant-print tank top to a temple. That’s not fashion. That’s an act of spiritual violence.
Rule 3: Learn to whisper in public
Not every conversation needs to be delivered like a TED Talk on a speakerphone.
Especially not on the BTS.
Especially not while explaining your crypto exit strategy.
No one cares that you were early on Solana.
We’re just trying to get to Mo Chit.
Rule 4: You’re not in a movie, you’re in a country.
Stop filming random locals for your content unless you’ve asked first.
No, they don’t want to be in your day in the life of a digital nomad reel.
And no, they don’t care that you left the 9 to 5 to chase freedom.
They’ve been free since birth here. You’re just now discovering how laundry works.
Rule 5: Temples are not yoga studios
Just because you’ve done ayahuasca in Ubud doesn’t mean you can meditate next to a monk and start chanting.
Temples aren’t content.
They’re not your new Tinder bio backdrop.
They’re holy sites.
You don’t “find yourself” here. You lose face.
Rule 6: The smile is real, but it can disappear
Thais are polite, kind, and graceful.
This doesn’t mean they won’t roast you in Thai under their breath while maintaining eye contact.
They understand that “In your country, people aren’t so polite! People don’t smile so much!” Well, on top of learning to use Google Translate, learn to read the smile.
Sometimes it means “welcome.”
Sometimes it means “I hope your Grab never arrives.”
You are an ambassador for your country, you’re actions reflect on yourself and your home country. Keep these commandments in mind, and you will live peacefully.
The story Manners and Thailand: A rules guide for the bored and perplexed as seen on Thaiger News.
