Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Golden Ticket
The government has begun accepting applications for what President Trump calls the Trump Gold Card, an expedited visa for foreigners who pay $1 million or more.
Jimmy Kimmel called it the “Get Into America Express Card” on his Thursday show.
“For a million bucks you get legal visitor status, you get a pathway to citizenship and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choosing.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Trump — he thinks citizenship is something you could sell, like a condo, or a steak, or Eric when he was a baby.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Might be time to update that inscription on the Statue of Liberty: ‘Never mind your poor and tired. Give us a million bucks — you’re in.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“You would think that a transaction like this would involve a good deal of paperwork, right? Nope. The application’s one page long. You have to give more information to rent a Toyota Camry.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“The White House is also planning to offer a Trump Platinum Card, which is above the Gold Card, and a Storm the Capital One card.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“A quick message here to rich immigrants: Before you pony up, have you considered Canada? You know, they have Katy Perry now.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Architectural Edition)
“There’s one thing Donald Trump won’t see his face on anytime soon. That’s Time magazine, ’cause they just announced their person of the year, and it isn’t him. Instead, it’s the other thing that’s going to kill us all: ‘The Architects of A.I.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Is it customary for an architect to have no idea how a building they’ve designed works, or whether or not it will one day rise up to try to kill them?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“There they are, the Eight Dorks of the Apocalypse. The people who replaced people are the people of the year this year.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“That cover photo there is inspired by a famous photo of iron workers having lunch on the steel beam of a skyscraper. There’s one slight difference: This time, you’re rooting for the wind.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Just think, thanks to them, next year we won’t need a Person of the Year.” — SETH MEYERS
The Bits Worth Watching
On “The Late Show,” Kate Winslet and Stephen Colbert debated the best way to string Christmas lights.
Also, Check This Out
The creator of the Pantone system explains how he standardized colors across the world in a new documentary, “The King of Color.”
The post Jimmy Kimmel Takes a Swipe at Trump’s ‘Gold Card’ appeared first on New York Times.
